Question
Gramps,
What is the purpose of prayer? Do we actually influence God’s will and the eventual outcome of a situation, or is it more to align our will with His?
Carolyn
Answer
Carolyn,
Prayer is not a magic wand to bend God’s will to ours, but an act that shapes us—aligning our will with God’s, developing spiritual capacities, and inviting blessings already prepared but made “conditional upon our asking for them.” Its purpose is rooted in relationship: Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other… The object of prayer is not to change the will of God but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant but that are made conditional on our asking for them.
The New Testament sets the pattern: we address our Heavenly Father, express gratitude, seek blessings for ourselves and others, and close in the name of Jesus Christ. Early Christian leaders, such as Origen and Eusebius, recognized the centrality of this approach: “Prayer begins with a testimony to God… Christians pray to God alone through Jesus.”
A frequent question—”If the Lord is going to do whatever He wants, why do we bother praying?”—is tackled directly in Latter-day Saint teachings. The purposes of prayer include:
Our Growth: Earthly life is a proving ground. God’s work and glory is to “bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” Through prayer, we cultivate faith, humility, obedience, and a Christ-like nature. It’s part of our spiritual development—God cares deeply about our growth through seeking, asking, and acting in faith, even when we don’t get what we want.
Alignment with God’s Will: Prayer is less about getting our wishes granted and more about learning to say, “Thy will be done,” trusting in God’s love and wisdom, even (and especially) when answers are delayed or different from what we desire.
Blessings Conditioned on Asking: God will not violate our agency. Some blessings await our sincere desire, asking, and willingness to act. Both personal and group prayers matter, and while the numbers aren’t magic, collective prayer often brings a deepened spirit of unity and charity.
Partnership, Not Passivity: Prayer does not mean expecting God to do everything; rather, it’s an invitation to partner with Him—doing all we can, and then asking for divine help in the matters beyond our control.
Many struggle with wandering thoughts or rote repetition. I know I definitely do at times. But small changes in how we approach prayer can vastly increase its meaning:
Pray Aloud: Vocal prayers activate the conversational centers of the brain, increasing focus and engagement.
Clear Your Mind First: Take a moment before praying to reflect on your day, ponder questions, and mentally prepare—making it easier to hear promptings of the Spirit.
Be Specific: Rather than generalities, speak of precise needs, questions, and gratitude. This invites more specific answers and deepens your own understanding.
Pray for Focus: Sincerely ask for help to concentrate during prayer itself.
Expect an Answer: Answers may not come immediately or as you expect, but look for gentle promptings during quiet moments.
Actually Kneel: Posture can matter—kneeling increases reverence and attention, helping avoid the drift into sleep or distraction. I know this really helps. Unfortunately, as I’ve gotten older, my knees aren’t what they used to be, making it difficult. I’m sure some of you can relate to this.
Some suggestions as to how to increase meaning in your prayers:
Gratitude Prayers: Occasionally, say prayers focused solely on thanking God. This increases your awareness of blessings and invites new ones.
Write Out Prayers: Journaling your prayers—especially during times of fasting or need—can clarify thoughts and help you better recognize inspiration.
Ponder Before You Pray: Don’t just reflect after you pray; pondering beforehand helps you ask for truly beneficial things.
Listen: Leave moments of silence. As Elder Richard G. Scott counseled, “His answers will seldom come while you are on your knees praying… He will prompt you in quiet moments when the Spirit can most effectively touch your mind and heart… Be thankful that sometimes God lets you struggle for a long time before that answer comes.”
Family prayers teach children by example, build gratitude and faith, and unite family members. Consistency is key—praying morning and night fosters a pattern that reinforces spiritual priorities in the home.
Children especially learn the efficacy of prayer by sharing miracles and stories, feeling a growing assurance that their prayers are heard and sometimes answered in ways both big and small.
Prayer can be informal and deeply personal—God loves “chit chat.” Address Him as a loving Father, sharing not only needs but joys, humor, and even your mundane concerns.
The Spirit communicates individually, “perfectly individualized for you.” As one British woman put it, when the Spirit speaks to her, He “does, in fact, have an accent.” God knows your language and thought patterns; over time, you’ll learn to recognize how He speaks to you as you persist in prayer and spiritual effort.
God is honored when we acknowledge His hand in our successes and struggles. Prayers of appreciation—spoken aloud, quietly in our hearts throughout the day, or written—strengthen spiritual sensitivity.
True prayer isn’t about demanding specific outcomes, but about aligning ourselves with God’s desires—for ourselves and those we love. President Henry B. Eyring shared a poignant experience: after praying through a night of uncertainty and anxiety, but receiving no answer, he finally surrendered his will: “Heavenly Father, it doesn’t matter what I want. I don’t care anymore what I want. I only want that Thy will be done…” In that moment of submission, clarity came.
If answers feel slow, shift to service. Blessings sometimes come not in the form of direct intervention but via steady guidance, peace, and opportunities to help others. As you serve, your prayers—and God’s answers—gain deeper purpose and resonance.
Gramps
