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Question

 

Gramps,

As a youth I am often asked to make a list of the attributes i would like my future spouse to have. While i know that often the point of such exercises is usually to say that we ought to develop these very attributes, I would still like your perspective on which attributes you find most admirable in any person.   Thanks for your wisdom.

Cameron

 

Answer

 

Cameron,

Another purpose to the attribute list is if you repeat the exercise now and then, you may find interesting changes. What seems important to a 13 year-old may be quite different when compared to an 18 year-old. It’s all part of the process of maturing into the adults we become in this life. I also agree that developing the same attributes in our own lives that we seek in others is an important process.

It’s not even necessary to restrict it to a future spouse. You can apply the same ideas  to co-workers, supervisors, even managers and business owners. As your life progresses, you’ll interact with all kinds of people. Whatever good you want to see in others can also very well be a part of yourself if you work at it.

Mahatma Ghandi put it this way.

“Be the change you seek.”

As for my more desirable attributes, I like people that are humble, yet confident. A good sense of humor removes vast amounts of stress and can defuse potentially disastrous moments when used properly. A strong testimony of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is an essential anchor we all need. I think a well-rounded education is important, and above all else, honesty is key to a peaceful and happy life, marriage, job, etc. Add the final element of true charity, or Christ-like love, and you would be hard pressed to find a better person to spend time with, whatever the reason.

Using one of the purposes of the exercise that prompted your question, working towards putting these elements in our own lives may be a lifelong pursuit, but as we do so we become the change we seek, and thus improve the world around us. Get enough of our brothers and sisters doing so, and miracles will happen.

 

Gramps

 

 

 

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