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Question

 

Gramps,

I read your answer to the guy who was worried about being an angel only. I have a friend who was sealed to her husband and has two kids. He was lost tragically in a car accident. She has had trouble dating LDS men,  They do not wish to pursue anything as she is sealed to her late husband and they will not be able to be sealed and would be sentenced to be alone for eternity as an angel. Is there anything I can say to her to give her comfort other than it’s okay, you won’t be alone in the eternities, just for the rest of this life?

Confused

 

Answer

 

Dear Confused,

I can’t help but wonder if she doesn’t have lasting relationships with LDS men because they refuse to resign themselves to being angels only. I suspect that there’s a number of issues at play here that would also affect a non-LDS woman looking for a new husband for herself and father for her children.

Having said that, I’m afraid you and I have fallen into a common pitfall when we look to help friends. Does she really need comfort? Or is she experiencing moments when she just needs someone to mourn with her? If she needs comfort, does she need doctrinal comfort (which is what it looks like you’re trying to offer)? If that’s the case, I would leave the snark out of it and attend the temple with her. Listen to the blessings of the sealing. The covenant with her husband is still in effect – it is not something that kicks in once the two of them die. Additionally, listen to the blessings that her children are receiving because they have been born in that covenant.

What kind of comfort does she really need? Is it really doctrine, or does she need someone to watch the kids so she can enjoy a girls-night-out? Does she need to be reminded of future blessings, or does she need you to be a blessing in her life today? Perhaps a loaf of bread and a friendly shoulder would serve her better.

Gramps

 

 

 

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