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Question

 

Gramps,

Someone told me that it is dangerous to read scriptures in a relationship.  I don’t understand that but is it true? My boyfriend and I want to make sure our relationship is Christ centered. I don’t see how that is a bad thing.

Jessica

 

Answer

 

Dear Jessica,

I commend you for seeking to have a Christ-centered relationship. Indeed Christ should be the center of our lives, and we are so much happier when He is. Scripture reading is a wonderful way to accomplish that. Grams and I have read the scriptures together every day since we were married and it has been a very good thing.

My first question would have to be how old are you? If you or your boyfriend are not at an age that you might be considering marriage, meaning over 18 and ideally after his mission, then you shouldn’t be exclusively dating, and scripture reading is not the real issue here. I hope we can agree on that. Our leaders have counseled that young people date in groups until they are ready to look for a marriage partner. Violating that counsel would not be a good foundation for a Christ-centered relationship.

If you are both of age to consider marriage, then I think studying the scriptures together is fine–though I would counsel you to be careful where you do this. Being alone for extended periods of time is not a good idea for a couple striving to live the Law of Chastity. I can’t say with any degree of authority, but my guess is that a favorite pastime of Satan and his minions is getting couples into situations where they will misuse the creative powers that Heavenly Father has given us. So be careful of that.  Brent A. Barlow, in his book Worth Waiting For: Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage, gave related insight.  He said,

“When Susan and I became engaged while attending BYU, a General Authority gave a devotional address that discouraged engaged couples from praying together in intimate settings. He particularly suggested that engaged couples not go into bedrooms to pray. Furthermore, he noted that prayer can help create added intimacy between a man and a woman and is encouraged with married couples for that reason.

 

“I believe it may be appropriate for a couple to pray together at the beginning of a date or the beginning of a long trip. But extended prayers in isolation, particularly late at night, should be avoided by LDS engaged couples striving for sexual abstinence prior to marriage.”

 

Barlow, B. A. (1995). Worth Waiting For: Sexual Abstinence Before Marriage (pp.100-107). Salt Lake City, UT: Deseret Book Co.

With all that in mind, missionary companionships, families, college “family home evening groups”, seminary students, etc study the scriptures together, why not couples? Just do it in a library or something.

Best wishes,

 

Gramps

 

 

 

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