Question
Gramps,
When I was 16 years old I broke the law of chastity, and so I am no longer a virgin, I went through the whole repentance process and it has been a long time since I made that mistake. However, it is a really awful mistake and I often feel as though I am unworthy of marriage. I am a faithful member of the church, and I love the gospel so so much! But, I am terrified that a guy will want to marry me, until I tell him I’m not a virgin, and then he will know I am impure and change his mind
Juliet
Answer
Juliet,
Breaking the Law of Chastity is a serious issue and shouldn’t be taken lightly. While we need to be careful not to minimize the severity of breaking the Law of Chastity, it is also important to realize that the natural man is imperfect. Satan is cunning and powerful and wants to prevent us from returning to live with Heavenly Father. He works against us, tempting us to dress immodestly and encouraging us to think immoral or improper thoughts. These thoughts also break the Law of Chastity, as the prophet Alma teaches us in Alma 12:14:
For our words will condemn us, yea, all our works will condemn us; we shall not be found spotless; and our thoughts will also condemn us; and in this awful state we shall not dare to look up to our God; and we would fain be glad if we could command the rocks and the mountains to fall upon us to hide us from his presence.
The good news is that Heavenly Father knows this. He sent his only Begotten Son to give up his life so that we may live with him again. He wants us to repent, and repentance washes us clean. In Ezekiel 18:21-22 we learn:
But if the wicked will turn from all his sins that he hath committed, and keep all my statutes, and do that which is lawful and right, he shall surely live, he shall not die.
All his transgressions that he hath committed, they shall not be mentioned unto him: in his righteousness that he hath done he shall live.
We also can read in Enos 1:5-6;
And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.
And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away.
So you see, Juliet, we are all imperfect. It’s part of why we have taken on this mortal body and passed through the veil. We don’t just learn and grow through our victories, but our mistakes as well. Judging from your question, it sounds like you have learned from your sin and grown through the atoning power of Christ. He has forgiven you and your transgressions shall not be mentioned. Hopefully, you have grown closer to Heavenly Father since then and have learned to love yourself and serve Him. You see clearly now why Heavenly Father wants you to follow His commandments. He loves you and wants only the best for you.
I’m confident you will find a husband who loves you for the woman of Christ you have become. I’m also confident that due to the nature of the natural man, that husband will have sin and repentance in his past as well. I’m sure you will love him as he loves you, and you both will grow through Christ and the power of atonement will strengthen your bond with each other, and Christ.
Be happy, the best parts of your life are yet to come, starting with being sealed for time and eternity to the man you love in the Temple. Oh, to be young again.
Gramps
