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Dear Gramps,

I believe that a man and a woman in my ward are not married but are living together. I was just assigned to be her Visiting Teacher, but when I stopped by a little ahead of our appointment, the circumstances I found lead me to believe that this is not something I want to be involved in. I don’t want to act like everything is fine and normal, yet I don’t want to ostracize her either. What should I do?


Dear Lynne,

I have always found the best way to approach situations like this is to ask myself how would Christ handle it.  Would he ignore the individual or condemn them?  No, He would find a way that he could help the individual.  Christ might chastise us for sinning and condemn the sin, but he would never abandon us or stop loving us.  In Luke 5 we read of Jesus’ response to those who criticized Him for eating and drinking with sinners.  31 And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick.  32 I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

I would recommend that you turn to the Lord and ask Him to help you find a way you could help this sister and if possible help her regain her testimony.  Please make this a matter of fasting and prayer.

Each soul is valuable in the sight of God.  In D&C 18 we read:  10 Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;  11 For, behold, the Lord your Redeemer suffered death in the flesh; wherefore he suffered the pain of all men, that all men might repent and come unto him.  12 And he hath risen again from the dead, that he might bring all men unto him, on conditions of repentance.  13 And how great is his joy in the soul that repenteth!  14 Wherefore, you are called to cry repentance unto this people.  15 And if it so be that you should labor all your days in crying repentance unto this people, and bring, save it be one soul unto me, how great shall be your joy with him in the kingdom of my Father!  16 And now, if your joy will be great with one soul that you have brought unto me into the kingdom of my Father, how great will be your joy if you should bring many souls unto me!

Whether we help someone gain or regain their testimony of the Gospel, our joy will be great.  If you can be a positive influence in this Sister’s life, your joy will be great as well.


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