Today I found your site by something more than coincidence. I have been a member for most of my life but like others have strayed away from the flock. I served in the Armed Forces when I should have gone on a mission, and during that time when I was in the Marines I did things I am not proud of. Many of those areserious or grievous sins. For most of my life I have been in borrowed light. Yet recently I have had random thoughts of church doctrine and thoughts of the Savior and anything and everything that has to do with church. They have been so overwhelming and random that it has come to a point that it consumes all my thoughts… I went from not wanting anything to do with the church to having a unbelievable urge to serve a mission…. I know the repentance process is a year but according to raising the bar… I do not qualify… why then do I have these urges to serve a mission?
You may not qualify for a full-time mission, however you could still serve as a stake or ward missionary where you live. Going out with the missionaries in your ward to appointments is another way to serve. Humanitarian missions even in your area are a possibility.
The missionary spirit can be served in many ways, even just in strengthening your testimony and being willing to discuss your faith with people around you that have questions.
Talk with your bishop and listen to his response. Make this a matter of prayer, and ask the Lord for direction in what you should do.