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Question

 

Dear Gramps,

Do you have any advice for a man who has found a girl who meets all of his expectations spiritually, intellectually, temperamentally and personality wise, but finds her substantially displeasing in physical appearance? I know that we should try to do as the Lord does, and look upon the heart and not the outward appearance, but I am concerned that should we ever get married, this serious aversion to the physical may become intolerable, or perhaps even revolting, when the intimate dimension comes into play after marriage. Would the Lord condemn a man for rejecting an opportunity with a girl who is practically perfect in every other way, but seriously displeasing in her physical appearance? Your advice would be sincerely appreciated.

Earnest

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Answer

 

Dear Earnest,

There once was a young man who had fallen deeply in love with a girl and decided to marry her. So he went to the jewelry store to pick out a diamond engagement ring. He wanted to get the very nicest ring that he could find. He found such a ring, but its cost was much more than he could afford. So he got a second job, saved all that he could, and finally borrowed a rather large sum from a friend to make the purchase. When he bought the diamond, he charged the clerk to put it in the very most beautiful case that he could find. This was done and he was now prepared to propose to the love of his life. So the big evening came, he made his prepared proposal speech, declared his undying love for the girl and gave her the precious diamond ring. The girl was absolutely thrilled. Looking at the box she couldn’t believe how lovely the ribbon was with which it was tied. She carefully removed the ribbon, folded and pressed it, and then drew her attention to the beautiful paper with which the box was wrapped. She could not get over how lovely it was and was careful to press it and fold it just right. Then she was able to turn her attention to box in which the ring was placed. The box was of a rare wood, with a captivating intricate design. She marveled at how beautiful and unique the box was. So she carefully opened the box and there was the lovely, expensive diamond ring. She glanced at it and said, Oh, a ring, and tossed it on the table but what a marvelous box! I can’t believe how beautiful it is! And this wrapping paper and the ribbon!! I’ve never seen anything so beautiful!!

Now, what do you think of such a girl, so captivated by the practically worthless wrapping that she threw away a precious diamond because of the trappings that took her eye.

Life has its ups and downs and values change over time. But I want to tell you that in the long run, character wins out over looks every time. I once knew a man by the name of Wells Bowen who had had cancer of the lip. He had undergone an operation to remove the cancer, but in so doing it was necessary to stitch together about half of his mouth. This drastically altered his appearance and affected his speech. The first time I saw him was in a Sacrament meeting where he was the speaker. I was at first somewhat repulsed by his appearance, but when he began to speak I never saw that disfiguration again! What a marvelous speaker, and what a noble man! We soon became fast friends.

So my belief is that if this girl is all that you say she is, you have been given a beautiful and very valuable diamond. I would suggest that you not discard it because of the wrappings that it comes in.

 

Gramps

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