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My husband has gone back to smoking after we were sealed in the temple. Just the other day he was upset at me for being upset at his smoking and said “My health is the only good reason I should stop smoking.” How do I come back to him and help him see again the list of every important reason ‘eternally’ for him to stop smoking. Are the covenants he made to me and Heavenly Father in the temple a good enough reason? I feel that he no longer thinks an eternity with me is worth stopping smoking.

Lorna

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Loma,

My heart truly sorrows for the internal and spiritual pain you are currently experiencing as a result of your husband’s choice to continue smoking.

Our health is only one reason, although and important reason, we should stop smoking. Our desire to quit smoking should stem from our love of God and our Savior. This desire and love is the “good” reason why we should stop smoking.

In this situation, I would counsel you to pray, attend the temple, and act upon the pure intelligence the Lord reveals to you personally. I would express caution in thinking, although I understand why you might be thinking the way you do, that he “no longer thinks an eternity with [you] is worth stopping smoking” for. He may have stopped smoking for a short time, honored the ability to be sealed to you, because he loves you. However, as with any addiction, despite his desire to be sealed to you and his love for you, the addiction craving overcame him.

I would urge to seek to understand why he quit in the first place and why he has resumed smoking. His overt statement, “My health is the only good reason I should stop smoking” implies a deeper spiritual struggle that is now surfacing. Express the doctrines of the gospel, and seek to understand his heart. Once you understand his heart, I would again counsel that you pray, attend the temple, and act upon the pure intelligence the Lord reveals to you personally.

Gramps

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