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Dear Gramps,

When I am reading my scriptures or saying my prayers, I have no interest in physical intimacy with my spouse.  And when we do come together I become very carnally minded and completely lose interest in saying my prayers, reading my scriptures or in being “spiritual”.  Are the two mutually exclusive or incompatible?  Or am I doing something wrong here?






The two most definitely are not mutually incompatible. But you don’t need to be overly concerned about this. Sex is one of the great and profound gifts God has given us, but the purpose of sex isn’t to get us to read our scriptures.

As they grow in age and spiritual maturity, many couples find that the physical union of husband and wife takes on a deep, rich, and — yes — very spiritual dimension. But if that’s not where you are at in your progression right now, that doesn’t mean you are wrong. I encourage you not to overthink this. Enjoy your relationship with your spouse in all of its facets — spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. Do your duty to God and to your spouse in all things, and as you live your life, you will find all the seemingly disparate areas of your life woven together in a magnificent divine tapestry.

Ever the hopeless romantic,





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